Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

For those about to suck...

I'm a little behind on this story, but the word on the street is that everyone's favorite fist-pumping guilty pleasure band, AC/DC, recently signed an agreement to let Wal-Mart be the exclusive distributor of the band's new album. At least this will make for a great trivia question: What two things do AC/DC, The Eagles, Garth Brooks and Journey have in common? 1) Exclusive distribution agreements with Wal-Mart and 2)being weak sauce.

I suppose I won't lose sleep over this; it's not like I planned to buy the new record. Back in Black, as we all know, is the only post-Bon Scott album worth listening to. Since then, the band has been on a 28-year cruise through shitty hard rock irrelevance.

When you think about it, the move to team with Wal-Mart just makes sense for AC/DC. I think a quick blurb from Corporate Country Sucks sums this up nicely:

I'm not sure what this says about the industry, but I'm sure it has something to do with the lowest common denominator, slippery slopes and mediocrity.

Well said.

Bulleit Bourbon

I finally bought a bottle of Bulleit bourbon over the weekend. I've eyeballed it a few times in the ABC store, admiring the well-designed bottle and its position on the high shelf. But alas, I don't make it to the ABC store that often, believe it or not. As a matter of reference, the lonely bottle of vodka I've had since December is still hanging in there.

The jury is still out (the one-person jury of me, that is). The flavor is different than what I'm used to, much sharper than a wheaty bourbon like Maker's Mark because of its high rye content -- not high enough to be rye whisky, of course, because then it wouldn't be bourbon. But that's neither here nor there.

The flavor is growing on me. Perhaps not enough to drink straight up, but the sharpness goes great with a double splash of ginger ale and a slice of lime in an old fashioned glass, which for my money is a real bourbon and ginger.

Heavy Rebel Thunder

Last Saturday found me armpit deep in work undone; nevertheless, I felt I owed myself a holiday. Plus, my pal Chip pitched an offer I couldn't refuse. He was headed to Winston-Salem to check out the middle day of the 8th annual Heavy Rebel Weekender and offered me a free ride. I couldn't say no.

I'm a fan of much of the music that was offered at Heavy Rebel: punk, rockabilly, old school honky tonk, Western swing, cow punk, (insert your own made-up genre here).

I'm not one to judge those who live a throwback rockabilly lifestyle 24/7, complete with expensive vintage Levi's and expensive vintage muscle cars. To each his own. But the whole thing was quite a spectacle. In a good way.

Generally, the hillbilly, white-trash, tattoos-and-PBR scene is a tongue-in-cheek salute to the early days of rock n' roll, when it was still a very rebellious thing to be into. For all of the bad-boy and bad-girl posturing, the folks at Heavy Rebel seemed like a very gentle, tame bunch. You'd probably see more fights at a boy-band concert.

Thanks to Chip, we heard some good music, saw some sweet old cars, talked to nice people, ate a decent plate of fried chicken and mac n' cheese, and washed it all down with a few PBRs. A lot of the bands we wanted to see played Friday, namely Jimmy and the Teasers, SouthPaw, and Dexter Romweber and the New Romans, but we could only make Saturday, so you do what you can.

The co-ed mud wrestling to a backdrop of psychobilly surf guitar wasn't bad either.

A Middle Finger to Canada

Yesterday, while looking for appropriate Independence Day cookout attire, I came across a t-shirt I haven't seen in a while. It has a giant American flag on the front with text that reads, "American Independence Day, East Timor, 2001."

It's fair enough that a group of American expatriates living in East Timor in 2001 decided to celebrate the 4th together. We all worked hard under extremely stressful conditions in a country that had been quite recently ransacked by maniacal machete-wielding arsonists/rapists/murderers. Nothing about that is funny.

What's funny is that we had to have our 4th cookout on a Saturday, which happened to fall on July 1. The first of July is Canada Day. So in true American fashion, we celebrated American Independence on our quirky upstairs neighbor's national holiday. Kind of felt like 40 people giving an entire country the middle finger at the same time.

I have no particular animosity towards Canada, even though a group of monster truck-driving Canadian rednecks (or whatever they're called up there) tried to run me off the road in British Columbia in 1998 (true story). On that same trip, the guy I was traveling with from Oregon to Alaska convinced himself in a Vancouver bar that the bartender was feeding us non-alcoholic beer. He actually caused a minor scene when he professed this theory to anyone within earshot -- pretty much everybody in the bar because he got loud. I tried to assure him that the fact that he was getting loud and causing a scene about the alleged non-alcoholic beer led me to believe that the beer probably had alcohol in it. But he wouldn't listen.

So, I'd like to apologize to Canada(except for the monster truck guys) for holding a 4th of July Celebration on Canada Day, and for accusing them of sneaking us non-alcoholic beer. Sorry.

Hey Baby, It's the 4th of July

I'll have to say so far that the holiday is coming together nicely, due to the not insignificant fact that my wife and I slept really late -- 9:30, woo hoo -- and then got totally jacked on coffee and cinnamon rolls. Right now, I'm so caffeinated that my hearing is bionic, and I can feel my hair growing.

I have a bit of work to take care of midday, but later plans include seeing some folks, getting tipsy, and perhaps banging out the greatest 4th of July song ever written on my trusty six string. If you don't have a copy of "4th of July" by X, figure out a way get one immediately. Buy it and download it if you must. Just get your ears on a hard or digital copy.

X was the best of the 70s/80s LA punk bands, and they've enjoyed a longevity and vitality that is unmatched by other bands that emerged from that scene. John Doe's music just keeps getting better: see for example 2007's A Year in the Wilderness, released on the incredible Yep Roc label that's based in Haw River, NC, just down the river from Bourbon and Ginger HQ.

"4th of July" is actually about a relationship falling apart; it's also sad, beautiful and soaring all at the same time. And what could be more American than that?

Here's a YouTube video of the band performing the song in Portland, OR during its recent reunion tour.

Facebook Schmacebook

Somehow, my wife roped me into joining the extremely obnoxious social networking site Facebook. She's persuasive; she even got our good friend Krista over at the very funny myblogateyourblog site to join.

From what I can tell so far, the sole reason for having a Facebook account is to be able to verify that the guy whose front yard you toilet papered in the 10th grade is, in fact, still alive. Also, many a cubicle hour can be wasted "poking" your "friends," sending them clip art beers, or generally net workin it.

Better yet, I get to stare in awe with an anthropological fascination as my wife shows me photos of all the guys she kissed in high school, and wonder if there's something in the New York water that induces some sort of acute guido syndrome in all Long Island males over 25. In any event, it's good to know that fake tans and steroids are still in style somewhere.